Okay, prepare to get grossed out by a list from Guff of things that somebody decided would be cool to put in a can. And if the Snickers in Tomato Sauce is a real thing, I’m hoping I never see Dove Bars with Alfredo Sauce, because I love Dove candy but I’d never be able to look at it quite the same way. And if your doctor says your cholesterol is too low, just chow down some Pork Brains. Wait, how does pork have brains?
Canned Macaroni And Cheese
Hey, Heinz! Thanks for ruining my all-time favorite food!
Burger In A Can
How do you even get it out of the can without destroying the dang thing?
Throw it away and let the worms figure it out.
8 Hot Dogs
Just imagine eight, full-length Vienna sausages! That’s eight too many if you ask me.
Canned Pigeon
Finally! You don’t have to go through all the trouble of catching a pigeon.
PB&J
Holy hell that is so gross. Grape jelly?
Spotted Dick
I’ve only eaten regular dick. Do you guys know if the spotted kind is any good?
Pork Brains With Milk Gravy
“Milk gravy” somehow makes this even weirder. At least it’s only $1.09.
Pork Brains Nutritional Facts
Okay, so maybe pork brains taste gross. On the bright side, they have 1060% of your daily cholesterol intake, so at least there’s that.
Powdered Horse Milk
Powdered horse milk?
Neigh.
Canned Snickers
You think canned chocolate is gross? Here’s the kicker: “Tomathon coyce” translates to “in tomato sauce.”
Canned Breakfast
All day breakfast: The breakfast that tastes like it’s been left out all day…at best.
Canned Chicken
Fully cooked and covered in a slime brine. Just like mama used to make!
Canned Alligator
No thanks!
I’m more of a crocodile man myself.
Bird’s Nest Drink
NOPE. I prefer to chew my bird’s nests, thank you very much.
French Toast Puree
I’ll eat French toast any way I can get it, but from a company called Thick It? I don’t think so.