Just a quick hello from a new, occasional contributor.  My name is Randy (the one on the left, in the photo down at the bottom) and my retail pedigree consists of about 30+ years in the industry working within everything from small gas station – minimart to both small and big box retailers.  My primary focus has been loss prevention management and investigation with a side dish of policy development and systems integration and testing. Yet, let us not be distressed … I didn’t start at the “top”, I did wrangle shopping carts and flip burgers along my storied path, but that’s all for later posts.

I feel obligated to let you know ahead of time, I tend to lean toward the humorous and sarcastic realm of written fodder and when I stretch the realm of believability (and I will), you will be able to discern such because I generously notate such within those parenthesis doohickies, like above (well, most of the time).  One additional disclaimer, in my last 14 years as an award winning author of children’s tragedies (total lie, not an author), I’ve found it better to be forthright concerning my affiliations with current retailers and organizations … I have none!  I escaped the profoundly rewarding (code words for “soul stealing) retail profession, back in 2009 (okay, that one was the truth).  I now work professionally (if it’s possible to associate that word with me) within the animation industry, where I am a freelance Track Reader for many of the cartoons your children (and possibly even you) visually consume on a weekly, if not daily basis (my goodness, that one was the truth as well).

Anyway, buckle up, keep your hands and feet inside this calamity until the ride comes to a full and complete stop.  I’ll try my best to mask my desire to spew profanities and hurl insults (probably not) and will try to dig deep within myself to refrain from offending your potentially delicate sensibilities (okay, not a chance in “h” “e” “double toothpicks”).

I’ll see you soon with gnus & views from the retail regalia!

Randy