For just two minutes a day, the neckline slimmer will transform that turkey neck of yours into a neck that will make people say in amazement, “Why are you doing that with your neck?”

Have you ever seen a baby wearing a bib and thought, “Those were the days”? Well, pine no more. Now there’s the SlobStopper, a polyurethane bib for working adults who really want to make sure they’ve hit rock bottom.

The best way to creep on your neighbors in style.

“Mom, Dad, please stop picking me up from school.”

Cut your own hair using a vacuum cleaner. It’s still better than getting haircuts at the barber college.

He always said his game was in the toilet.

It’s a great way to train your cat to use the toilet. It’s not so great when you forget to remove it before you use the bathroom.

It works for men too, right? We’re asking for a friend.

Again, we have to ask: It works for men too, right?

We’re not sure why every golf-related product is tied to relieving oneself, but the EuroClub is a fake golf club into which players can urinate when acting civilized is too much of a burden. It’s easily the most efficient way to lose friends.

It’s a jump rope without the rope, and it costs more than a jump rope. Where can we buy all of them?

That is the face of a woman who bought a flatulent-absorbing blanket that doesn’t work.

Because driving while on your phone isn’t challenging enough.

The expression on that dog’s face says it all.

You know America has an incarceration problem when we put our own food in jail.

It’s actually not the toilet paper that’s talking, but the toilet paper roll. Classic false advertising.