25 Discontinued Drinks That Need To Be Resurrected

Posted on by RetailGuy

Sodas

    As a retailer I have seen a lot of new drinks come and go over the years.  How many of these do YOU remember?   Incredibly, I can honestly say I remember all of them except Cisco, Southpaw and Cocaine.   Some of these I’m actually surprised to hear are gone, such as Lowenbrau and Zima, both of which I have to admit I tried once or twice.   And New York Seltzer?   I remember actually meeting the founders back at Longs in the 80s, and they gave me samples to try and I ordered 10 cases or so and tried them out in our cooler.  They took off immediately and pretty soon we were ordering 15-25 cases a week!   Back then the independent beverage companies could afford to send a truck with just 10-15 cases, but all of those small companies are gone and have been swallowed up by the big three  (Coke, Pepsi and 7 Up) who now deliver 90% of the non-alcoholic beverages to our store.  So yes, Snapple is no longer owned by the original owners,  nor is Barq’s, A & W, Mr. Pibbs and a host of others.

25. Pepsi Blue

20. Pepsi Blue
 

Pepsi has a long history of questionable soda-based decisions, and this is chapter one.

But how much fun is it to drink blue soda? It’s like chugging windex! Especially since that’s what it tasted like. But the experience of blue soda is too much fun to allow history to keep it from us. Bring it back? Please?

  

24. Löwenbräu

19. Löwenbräu
 

Two fun facts about Löwenbräu. First, the umlauts over the name is where Mötley Crüe got the idea to put them over theirs. Also, it’s actually a brewery in Europe, but Miller had to get out of the Löwenbräu game when people found out they were making it in Irwindale, CA…and not importing it.

All is forgiven, Miller. Please start making Löwenbräu again, and we promise not to shout at the devil.

   

23. LifeSavers Soda

18. LifeSavers Soda
 

Why don’t we have soda that tastes like actual candy anymore? Frankly, this had to have been a product of all the X people did in the 90s, but it was one darn fine can of soda.

Bring it back, and we promise to brush afterwards.

   

22. Red Dog

17. Red Dog
 

Maybe one of the nastiest beers of all time — it was cheap, accessible, and it got you drunk. Plus, if you turned the label upside down, it looked like a dirty drawing of Batman.

Rumors of Red Dog being on shelves again are all over the place, but they are rarely consistent. Red Dog needs to come back at full 1990s force, so we can have a good, cheap beer that the hipsters won’t drink.

  

21. Fruitopia

16. Fruitopia
 

The very name was completely synonymous with the 1990s. It was fruity, trippy, and we had to assume wholesome and good for the earth. While Coca-Cola somewhat revived the brand name with their Minute-Maid line, the actual juicy, mishmash Fruitopia is no more. We need this in our lives again, because sugar water needs to feel wholesome again.

  

20. Bud Ice

20. Bud Ice
 

There was just something about Bud Ice. Maybe it was the implication that it was colder than most beers? The tie-in with the NHL? Or perhaps it was the later versions of the bottle that were made to look like chunks of ice.

(Update: These have been spotted in both GA and in San Bernardino County, CA. Both reports have them on “that” end of the beer cooler.)

  

19. Orbitz

19. Orbitz
 

Orbitz was such a bad idea that it almost came back around to being good. It was basically melted popsicle mixed with fruit concentrate, and some stuff floating in it. Was it boba? Were they rounds from a pellet gun? Did it matter?

  

18. Cisco

18. Cisco
 

Maybe it wasn’t what you drank the first time you got drunk, but odds are it’s what got you throw-up drunk in high school. ‘Liquid crack’ as it’s sometimes called, was a really ill-advised fortified wine loved by bums and winos everywhere. Its other fanbase, underage kids, loved it for it’s sheer availability.

(Update: These have been spotted making a comeback in the Southeast. Heaven help you all down there.)

  

17. Slice

17. Slice
 

How fun was Slice? It was the soda that absolutely did not care. What’s that you say? You want pineapple soda? Bam… there you go. Strawberry? Badda bing. Apple? Knock yourself out, slick.

One of the best games ever is trying to name all the flavors that Slice did. It’s harder than naming all the members of the Wu-Tang Clan.

  

16. 7Up Gold

16. 7Up Gold
 

The whole idea of 7Up is that it’s clear and pretty mild. Forget all that noise, said 7Up Gold. Here it came with it’s champagne colors and a taste that was best described as ‘acquired.’ With fairly ambiguous ingredients listed as just “spice”, there has to be a place in today’s market for a soda that says “I do what I want! You don’t know my life!”

  

15. Southpaw

15. Southpaw
 

You can actually still find this in isolated pockets of America that stopped caring long ago. While it was pretty pedestrian as far as beers go, the best thing about Southpaw is that it was a favorite of white-hat broseph frat guys across the south. Why does that mean it needs to come back? Because of the irony based on what “southpaw” means in British slang.

  

14. Bubble Up

14. Bubble Up
 

So much more than a rip off of 7Up, it had a different flavor that one can only describe as “awesome.”

Sweeter and somehow more tart than 7Up, the name also threw the illusion of having more carbonation — even though it didn’t. This prompted some of the most epic neighborhood championships of belching in the history of the sport.

(Update: These have since been spotted in some specialty shops in the Midwest.)

  

13. Cocaine

13. Cocaine
 

It was an energy drink, not a substitute for the illicit street drug and if you thought so, you were an idiot. No really, that’s almost verbatim what the label on the can said.

Give this stuff another chance, FDA! If for no other reason than for those of us in the creative fields to be able to say we finished a project “with a ton of Red Bull and Cocaine” and not be bad people.

  

12. Jack & Coke In A Can

12. Jack & Coke In A Can
 

It’s an idea that never seems to quite go away. These were a thing, and then they were gone. Then they came back for a while, and then were gone again. They might be coming back, and it’s good because it needs to stick this time.

You have to love rolling up to a party with a sixer of these and people just think you’re nursing an off-brand beer — but you’ve got the best stuff of all.

  

11. Snapple Root Beer

11. Snapple Root Beer
 

Very little photo evidence of this exists and the Snapple lawyers likely have something to do with that. Snapple was originally a soda company and Richie Sambora from Bon Jovi did their commercials. Look it up if you don’t believe it.

Snapple’s clear root beer was epic and amazing and needs to be a thing again — soon.

  

10. Hi-C Ecto Cooler

10. Hi-C Ecto Cooler
 

When the Ghostbusters cartoon show was in full swing, Hi-C thought this was a good idea to make the official juice of the show. They took some tangerine flavored juice, dyed it green, slapped a picture of Slimer on the box — and we were good to go.

Bring this back for no other reason than drinking green juice rules.

  

9. Zima

9. Zima
 

Shut up, Zima was good.

Actually no, it was terrible. It just needs to be brought back so we can enjoy a sight not seen on college campuses for far too long. Delta Zetas chugging these things with Jolly Ranchers thrown in the bottom for no reason. Ah, memories.

  

8. Coca-Cola (The Original Recipe)

8. Coca-Cola (The Original Recipe)
 

Yes, Cocaine was an energy drink. But it was not the first time you could drink cocaine, because coca extract was in the original Coca-Cola.

Nobody is saying to make this a permanent thing. However, for maybe one or two weeks– bring this back. Just so we can see what it was like for our grandparents to enjoy a hot dog and a Coke with their nose completely wide open. We just want to try it, Grandpa. Once.

  

7. Crystal Pepsi

7. Crystal Pepsi
 

Once upon a time in the 1990s, a bunch of Pepsi executives did mushrooms at Joshua Tree and came back with this idea to make clear soda. True story.

Crystal Pepsi was beloved and mocked by 1990s kids, and it needs to be revived so our children will really believe us that it was a thing and not a photoshopped product of our imaginations.

 

6. Jolt Cola

6. Jolt Cola
 

Possibly the best bad idea in the history of beverage marketing — we need Jolt back in our lives.

This can still be found here and there, but you have to hunt for it. Jolt needs to be back on grocery store shelves and in vending machines by the end of the week or the kitten gets it. Seriously, don’t test us on this one. We’ll do it.

  

5. Ramblin’ Root Beer

Ramblin' Root Beer
YouTube
 

If you remember drinking Ramblin’, you just got out of your chair and applauded. Because Ramblin’ was awesome.

Double high five if you remember ordering a Ramblin’ at Pup N’ Taco. (Sorry, it’s a California thing)

  

4. Coca Cola Blak

Coca Cola Blak
Pinterest
 

Should I have coffee or should I have soda? Blak made that choice for you — and heck yes for that!

In a long line of “If Europe likes it, America should” decisions — like the one that gave us the MLS — Coca Cola threw this one at us and we didn’t even have enough time to get hooked on it. It was like they said “Here, want some coffee soda? SYKE!!!”

One more try, Coca Cola. We weren’t ready.

  

3. Original New York Seltzer

Original New York Seltzer
 

This brand was founded by — and this is not a joke — a couple of Jews from New York who settled in Southern California. They did what Jews from New York generally do — whine about not being able to get New York stuff. Only they did something about it.

We all have that memory of Dad coming home with a 12’er of these yelling “Sadie!! SADIE!! I found cream soda! It’s like from Brooklyn, Sadie!”

A drink like this, our kids should know from.

  

2. Billy Beer

Billy Beer
YouTube
 

Only in the 1970s could you put out a brand of beer not only referencing but endorsed by the President’s wayward, out of shape, drunken, redneck brother. As Homer Simpson put it, “We elected the wrong Carter.”

This needs to come back like nothing else. Billy Beer was a celebration of all that was tongue-in-cheek and utterly absurd about the 1970s. We could all stand to lighten up and kick back with a can of Billy.

  

1. Like Cola

Like Cola
 

Like Cola has to be somewhere in history as one of the most spectacularly bizarre ideas ever conceived.

Someone figured out how make cola with no caffeine in it, which is odd since caffeine is half the point of soda. On the other hand, it was made straight from the cola nut, which was amazing. Either way, they legally had to label it as “99% Caffeine Free” because chemistry.

Bring this back just to see millennials get irreversibly baffled.