2. And if we’re stuck for conversation with a customer at the checkouts, we’re advised to talk about the weather.
“Isn’t it hot/cold/wet/windy/snowy?!”
3. We often ask whether you want a bag on autopilot, before realising that you’ve only bought two things.
And you always come back with a ~hilarious~ comment.
4. In short, working on the checkouts is the absolute worst.
It’s boring, you have to deal with customers, and you have to pretend like you don’t hate every minute of it. YAY!
5. And when the store is empty, it gets about 10 times more boring.
But you still have to look like you’re really enjoying yourself.
6. When you ask us to check the storeroom for something, we always take the opportunity to have a little sit down in the back.
7. We don’t want to accompany you to the right aisle to help find the exact item you’re looking for, but we have to.
It’s just as awkward and not fun for us too, so there’s no need to get shitty about it.
8. The codes for items that don’t scan are imprinted on our brains forever.
Lemons 55, garlic 1106, kill me now.
9. We have to ID you if you look under 25.
Because if we don’t and you turn out to be under age, we would get fined a LOT of money. It’s not fun for us either.
10. Our customers can be extremely bratty.
No madam, I can’t give you a discount because there is a tiny tear in the top of your box of Coco Pops. Yes sir, I did hear that you could get your magazine cheaper somewhere else because you are LITERALLY YELLING IN MY FACE.
11. But the worst customers are the ones who graze as they shop.
That includes feeding your child half a bag of grapes before you get to the till.
12. A really enthusiastic “Have a nice day!” is usually reserved for the shittiest of customers.
13. It’s really difficult to hold in our opinions when we see a customer pack their shopping incorrectly.
IT’S SIMPLE. HEAVY THINGS ON THE BOTTOM, LIGHT THINGS ON THE TOP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
14. But we’ll never stop smiling.
Even when someone’s yelling at us because we don’t have the item they want in stock.
15. We hear the “If it doesn’t scan, it must be free!” joke approximately 400 times a day.
16. Rumbling is a welcome break from whatever arduous task we’ve been doing all morning.
Clearing away all the cardboard is actually quite satisfying.
17. Out staff discount is only 10%.
NO I CAN’T GET YOU £50 WORTH OF GROCERIES FOR A TENNER.
18. But the training video that we’re shown when we start did teach us that lining your bags with tin foil ~might~ make theft easier.
It’s not worth trying though, because a) it’s illegal and b) it might not be true.
19. And finally, we’d rather you gave items you didn’t want to us so we could put them back, instead of leaving them randomly round the store.
ESPECIALLY if they’re perishable goods. Thank you.