{"id":446,"date":"2015-03-13T07:05:05","date_gmt":"2015-03-13T14:05:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=446"},"modified":"2015-03-13T07:06:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-13T14:06:00","slug":"top-10-ways-to-make-your-cashier-hate-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=446","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Ways to Make Your Cashier Hate You"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u00a0There’s a ton of lists like these, but this one hit a lot of it on the head. I’ve had days where I’ve encountered all of them, and that’s when you know you’re having a bad day. Or, its Friday the 13th…<\/h6>\n
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Starting off our list, the number 10 way to get your cashier to hate you is by being dirty.\u00a0 Handling money is gross already, but it\u2019s even grosser when it comes out of your pocket soggy and smelling like sweat and compost.\u00a0 I understand that sometimes after a long day landscaping or doing construction work, you might not feel like washing all the dirt under your nails but THIS is unacceptable:<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Your odor should not be so pungent that I can identify \u00a0which department of the store you are in.\u00a0 Your clothing should not be so ripped that\u00a0I have to\u00a0revisit the no shirt no shoes no service policy.\u00a0\u00a0In general, don\u2019t be so dirty that I\u00a0feel\u00a0the need to\u00a0rub hand sanitizer up to my elbows\u00a0in order to avoid catching some strange disease.\u00a0 Being dirty in any place where there is food or disease can easily be spread\u00a0is unacceptable.<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u00a0Number nine may not be a problem in other stores, but at my \u00a0store it totally is.\u00a0 This is in part because both a real pen and an electronic pen are attached to POS machine.\u00a0 But everyday someone new scribbles their signature on the touch pad with a real pen, and everyday another customer points it out like:<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u201cLook!\u00a0 Some idiot signed with a real pen!\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
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I think what bothers me most about this is the sheer ignorance people exhibit when they realize the are holding a real pen.\u00a0 They look at it for\u00a0a moment like:<\/em><\/div>\n
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And then continue to\u00a0write \u00a0with it as if they were completely unaware.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Eventually the signature pad becomes so scratched and covered in real ink that you can\u2019t even read the prompts.\u00a0\u00a0SO STOP IT AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU\u2019RE DOING.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I feel as though I have a sixth sense for couponers.\u00a0 No matter what I\u2019m doing. if an extreme couponer is within a five mile radius of me, I get shivers.<\/em><\/p>\n

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They come with an envelope full of coupons, totally prepared to get a 200 dollar order of diapers for 2 dollars.\u00a0 It is a long, excruciating experience, seeing as many of the coupons don\u2019t scan and I have to enter them in manually.\u00a0 Occasionally it takes so long\u00a0I have to shut off my light temporarily so that other customers aren\u2019t deceived into thinking I\u2019ll be done in a minute or two.\u00a0 Because I won\u2019t.\u00a0 I never am.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Then comes the expired coupons that they insist on you taking.\u00a0 And the coupons which are supposed to automatically double their prices.\u00a0 When you refuse to do so, the coupon Nazi appears.<\/em><\/div>\n
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The coupon Nazi insists that your grocery chain accepted the coupons at another location and threaten to never come back and make you lose business.\u00a0 Though really, it\u2019s not like they\u2019re paying for anything.<\/em><\/p>\n

And when it\u2019s all over, you just feel dirty.\u00a0 Like you\u2019ve participated in a robbery.\u00a0 We cashiers don\u2019t necessarily hate extreme couponers\u00a0 We just hate coupon Nazis.<\/em><\/p>\n

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I once had a customer come through my line with three small children.\u00a0 She bought two six packs of beer, a chocolate bar (for her,) and at least a dozen of other\u00a0flavored alcoholic beverages.\u00a0 She then proceeded to pay for the order with an EBT.\u00a0 One of her children asked if she could by some Macaroni and Cheese, and the woman said,<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u00a0\u201cWe don\u2019t have any money.\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
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It makes me furious to see the way some people set their priorities.\u00a0 It also infuriates me to see people using food stamps inappropriately.\u00a0 These items are NOT for food stamps:<\/em><\/div>\n
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Energy drinks, alcohol, sodas, candy, junk food.\u00a0 These aren\u2019t foods for meals.\u00a0 These are snacks.\u00a0 You are using your EBT card inappropriately and I want to strangle you.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I don\u2019t know what it is that makes my customers think that I have the final word over anything that goes on in the store, but it always seems to me that the cashier it always taking full blame for everything.\u00a0 A customer will look at me sternly and proclaim that\u00a0I really should change the price of bread if I want people to come back to the store.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I really don\u2019t give a sh*t if you come back.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Let me break this down.\u00a0 When a customer complains about something in the store that I have no control over, I imagine putting on a cape and whisking myself away to some, \u201cGrocery Headquarters,\u201d probably somewhere on a mountain where only employees who can fly, can reach them.\u00a0 Hence it being my duty to fix this injustice.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Obviously at this point I bust in on corporate\u2019s secret meeting to inform them of your shopping displeasure.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Unfortunately, this is not what happens.\u00a0 And if you think I\u2019m going to waste my time writing a letter that won\u2019t be read to my superiors because you think your Frosted Mini Wheats cost too much, think again.\u00a0 STOP BUGGING YOUR CASHIERS ABOUT PROBLEMS THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Unless your significant other has\u00a0just lost all of their arms and legs and is on fire, (or other similar emergencies,) if you come through my line chatting on your cellphone, I will loath you.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Here\u2019s something no one\u2019s said, ever:<\/em><\/div>\n
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Talking on your phone while in line is just plain rude.\u00a0 No one wants to be forced to be a part of your conversation and when either of is distracted the order will take longer and there is more room for error, (like writing on the POS with a real pen).\u00a0 Please put the cellphone away.\u00a0 It won\u2019t kill you, I promise.<\/em><\/div>\n
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We\u2019re climbing our way to the top folks.\u00a0 Number 4 on the top\u00a010 list of ways to make your cashier wish you were never conceived is by\u00a0leaving your cart or basket by the register and taking off to grab that one item you forgot.<\/em><\/div>\n
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What usually ends up happening is the customer takes forever to come back and I\u2019m forced to start the next order or be hung by impatient village people.\u00a0 Then the customer comes back and is all like:<\/em><\/div>\n
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Well I set your stuff to the side.\u00a0 Because you took too long.\u00a0 Because you\u00a0WEREN\u2019T,\u00a0in line.\u00a0 And how do I know that you\u2019re even coming back?\u00a0 If you want your cashier to hate you, expect that we\u2019re totally fine with you holding up the line and us taking the blame for it.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I don\u2019t even want to draw this out because it\u2019s pretty self exclamatory.\u00a0 I am not paying attention to your every movement.\u00a0 I am multitasking at a million different things when I\u2019m doing an order, whether bagging, receiving money, scanning coupons, etc..\u00a0 Therefore you have no reason to get angry at me if I don\u2019t know where one order begins and the other ends if you DON\u2019T USE THE DIVIDE BAR.<\/em><\/div>\n
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This dialogue does not take place in my head.<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u201c\u2026Hmm apples, cereal, milk, baby formula, bananas\u2026Bananas?\u00a0 What?\u00a0 Impossible! This cannot be the same order, it is improbable!\u00a0 This woman doesn\u2019t want bananas!\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
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I once accidentally had a woman pay for a teen\u2019s entire order because the teen didn\u2019t use the divide bar and said nothing as the order went through.\u00a0 The teenager then spoke up immediately after the credit card went through, getting mad because of the extra five minutes it took to refund the first woman her money.\u00a0 The girl said:<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u201cI thought it was obvious that the Gatorade was mine.\u201d<\/em><\/div>\n
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No.\u00a0 It\u2019s not obvious.\u00a0 We cashiers don\u2019t have a magical bell in our head that alerts us where one order ends and another begins.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I see you coming with your full cart.\u00a0 I see you stopping.<\/em><\/div>\n
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I know you saw the express light.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re pretending to be\u00a0totally unaware.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Then you come on through with your cart like, \u201cNo big deal, I\u2019m a special circumstance.\u201d\u00a0 And when you\u2019ve finished unloading all of your groceries onto the belt you go.<\/em><\/div>\n
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Like hell you didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 Like hell.<\/em><\/div>\n
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AAAAAND, the number one way to get your cashier to renounce their faith in humanity is to not know how much money you have spent on groceries.<\/em><\/div>\n
The customer comes through your line with a full cart.\u00a0 You know what\u2019s coming when their hand is hovering above the belt and their eyes are glued to the total on the screen.\u00a0 Then suddenly they say:<\/em><\/div>\n
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Which is totally awesome.\u00a0 Because now, YOU get to put away the groceries they can\u2019t afford.\u00a0 You get to spend hours searching for the items they found and put them back on the shelf, because they couldn\u2019t do simple addition in their head.\u00a0 This is by far the worst, and most ignorant offense.<\/em><\/div>\n
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\u00a0There’s a ton of lists like these, but this one hit a lot of it on the head. I’ve had days where I’ve encountered all of them, and that’s when you know you’re having a bad day. Or, its Friday the 13th… \u00a0\u00a0 Starting off our list, the number 10 way to get your cashier Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-customer-stories","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=446"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":524,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/446\/revisions\/524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}