{"id":1926,"date":"2016-05-19T06:36:35","date_gmt":"2016-05-19T13:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1926"},"modified":"2016-05-19T06:36:35","modified_gmt":"2016-05-19T13:36:35","slug":"these-signs-prove-that-people-are-getting-stupider","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1926","title":{"rendered":"These Signs Prove That People Are Getting Stupider"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u00a0 \u00a0Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs. \u00a0I am constantly amazed at how many “required” signs are posted all over our stores. \u00a0There are dozens of signs on the baler stating “Minors are not allowed to use the baler” which seem redundant since a)we don’t hire minors and b) only the managers can have the key to unlock it. \u00a0 I suppose somewhere, at some store, a minor decided to climb into the baler and end his life of stupidity, since you’d really have to be stupid to get hurt by a baler. \u00a0 In any case, that is just one example of signs proving that people are getting stupider, and here’s some more. \u00a0\u00a0Hard to believe that #3 was really needed, but I’ve seen worse…<\/p>\n

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Told You So, Bro<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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“The next thing you’re going to tell me is\u00a0that water is wet and ice is cold.”<\/p>\n

*touches fire*<\/p>\n

“Okay, yeah, that’s hot.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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2<\/div>\n

Said the Angry Weirdo<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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“I know what cat milk tastes like AND THIS is NOT CAT milk! I need to speak to the manager, please.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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3<\/div>\n

Anti-Phallactic<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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“Excuse me, sir.\u00a0Does this condom make me look fat?”<\/p>\n

“Security! Code red. Code red!”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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4<\/div>\n

Solid Plan<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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“Is it me, or does the chair of the safety committee seem a little under qualified?”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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5<\/div>\n

Just Checking<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Okay, but like, what’s option three? And is there, by chance, a fourth option?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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6<\/div>\n

I’m a Book Nerd<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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So is this what that Shel Silverstein book is about? Looks very interesting.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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7<\/div>\n

Anger Issues<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Fun fact: This is what “blind rage” looks like in the Midwest. Stand back, she’s about to blow!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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8<\/div>\n

Road Work<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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By the time you’ve read this sign, you’ve already driven past it. Smallest construction site ever!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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9<\/div>\n

This Sign Is Nuts<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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I’m not an editor, but that\u00a0sign can just say “peanuts,” you know. It’s peanuts, you guys. Just peanuts.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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10<\/div>\n

Stairs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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My apologies. THIS is the dumbest sign ever.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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11<\/div>\n

Pie Five<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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(To himself<\/em>) “The quality of this pizza has really gone downhill.”<\/p>\n

“Mom, does this pizza taste funny to you?”<\/p>\n

“Did you open the box first, Carl?”<\/p>\n

“Never mind!”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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12<\/div>\n

Something Funny Happened on the Way to the Parking Lot<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Customer: “What’s with the sign?”<\/p>\n

Cashier points at a guy covered head to toe in chocolate milk.<\/em><\/p>\n

Guy covered in chocolate milk: “I thought it was the exit. Big deal!”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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13<\/div>\n

Origins<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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“So what’s with that sign?”<\/p>\n

“Long story.”<\/p>\n

“I’m listening.”<\/p>\n

“I thought some spaghetti got me pregnant.”<\/p>\n

“I’m sorry I asked.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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14<\/div>\n

The Dumbest Man in the World<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Doctor: “What brings you in?”<\/p>\n

Patient: “I thought hangers were salad again.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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15<\/div>\n

Thanks for the Heads Up<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Don’t worry. This sign is for dogs.<\/p>\n

Dogs that can read.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs. \u00a0I am constantly amazed at how many “required” signs are posted all over our stores. \u00a0There are dozens of signs on the baler stating “Minors are not allowed to use the baler” which seem redundant since a)we don’t hire minors and b) only the managers can have the key Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1926","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1926","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1926"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1926\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1928,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1926\/revisions\/1928"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1926"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1926"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1926"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}