{"id":1529,"date":"2016-01-02T09:55:58","date_gmt":"2016-01-02T17:55:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1529"},"modified":"2016-01-02T09:55:58","modified_gmt":"2016-01-02T17:55:58","slug":"there-are-worse-jobs-than-retail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1529","title":{"rendered":"There Are Worse Jobs Than Retail"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, retail can be frustrating, heartless and sure as hell doesn’t pay well, but it’s definitely not the worst job in the world. Ranker.com<\/a> came up with the top 30 (or, er, bottom 30) and here they are (in no particular order, if you ask me.) \u00a0 And whoever hired the guy for the Hello Kitty mascot must have been really desperate looking for friendly people.<\/p>\n

1<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

Sure. This Guy Has It Rough…<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

But that elephant can’t be having much fun, either.<\/p>\n

\n

Job:<\/span> Elephant Inseminator.<\/span><\/p>\n

2<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

This Job Is Number 1… and Number 2<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0And from the looks of it, there is a whole lot<\/span> of both.<\/div>\n
\n

Job:<\/span> Sewage Diver.<\/p>\n

3<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

It’s a S*&## Job, But Somebody Has to Do It<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Job:<\/span>\u00a0Port-A-Potty Cleaner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n
4<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

No Matter How Horrible Your Day Is…<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\u00a0\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Be thankful you’re not dealing with this kind of crap!<\/p>\n

\n

Job:<\/span> Elephant Crap Catcher.<\/p>\n

5<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

What a Great View!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Hope that vehicle has a powerful set of windshield wipers.<\/p>\n

\n

Job:<\/span> Cattle Semen Collector.<\/p>\n

6<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

There Are Reasons Why Rhinos Are Nearly Extinct<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

And one of them is: Who the hell would want to do this<\/span>?<\/p>\n

\n

Job:<\/span> Rhino Impregnator.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n
    7<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Working This Job Is Murder<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \n
  2. \n
    8<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Cleaning Feet Is Her Jam<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \u00a0More like “toe jam.” Be thankful it’s not yours<\/span>!<\/div>\n
    \n

    Job:<\/span> Podiatry Technician.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  3. \n
    9<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Cuz He’s a Cow Boy<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \u00a0“I’ve seen a million cow butts… and I’ve ROCKED ’em all!”<\/div>\n
    \n

    Job: <\/span>Dairy Cattle Inseminator.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  4. \n
    10<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Butt Floss Technician?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \u00a0Someone has to keep that wedgie in place.<\/div>\n
    \n

    Job:<\/span> Sumo Attire Adjuster.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  5. \n
    11<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    He Has to Take a Piss. Literally.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n
    This takes “personal assistance” to a whole new level.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Job:<\/span> Urinal Porter.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  6. \n
    12<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    There Are Plenty of Fish in the Sea<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    And apparently they’re all dead. It’s job security for this guy.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Dead Fish Harvester.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  7. \n
    13<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Such a Dead End Position<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \n
  8. \n
    14<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    This Job Is the Pits<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    …and you<\/span> think your<\/span> job stinks!<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Deodorant Tester.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  9. \n
    15<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Well, At Least He’s Smiling<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Admit it: That’s a really strange place for an extra mouth and a pair of eyes.
    \n
    \nJob:<\/span> Testicular Cancer Awareness Mascot.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  10. \n
    16<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Dr. Cold Hands<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    It’s a lucrative career, but you couldn’t pay me enough to deal with this s%#*.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Proctologist.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  11. \n
    17<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Delivery Guy By Day, Jenga Champ By Night<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    To do this, you’ve got to be one brick short of a full load, if you know what I mean.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Bicycle Brick Deliveryman.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  12. \n
    18<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Wax On. Wax Off.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Only Daniel LaRusso had it easy. He was waxing cars, not hairy men’s backs.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Back Hair Remover.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  13. \n
    19<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Beastly!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    This work could easily become a case of “in the wrong place at the wrong time.” For example, meal time<\/span>.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Lion Toenail Clipper.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  14. \n
    20<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    “Don’t Give Me Any of That Garbage!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Oh, wait. Yeah. I guess it’s my job.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span>\u00a0Recycling Separator.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  15. \n
    21<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    The Opposite of Digging for Treasure<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    You never know what you’re going to find down there.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Grave Digger.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  16. \n
    22<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Why Don’t You Tell These Guys About Global Warming?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    I bet they sure could use a vacation!<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Roof Shoveler.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  17. \n
    23<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    You Might Already Know What It’s Like…<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    …to work around a bunch of d***s, but you have nothing on this guy.<\/p>\n

    Job: Vibrator Assembly Worker.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  18. \n
    24<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    What a Louse-y Job<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    If you have the tendency to be a nitpicker, then Lice Tech may be the perfect occupation for you!<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Lice Technician.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  19. \n
    25<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Cheeky<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Looks like the mountain of student loan debt for art school<\/a> was worth it!<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Bodybuilder Painter.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  20. \n
    26<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    You Can Lead a Horse to Water, But You Cannot Keep Your Pride<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Making it possible for couples to have, like… the best time ever…\u00a0<\/span>often comes with great sacrifice. This guy is clearly sacrificing his health, dignity, and soul.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span>\u00a0Romantic Horseback Beachfront Tour Guide.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  21. \n
    27<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Hell-NO Kitty<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Keep him away from your daughters!<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Department Store “Hello Kitty” Mascot.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  22. \n
    28<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Looking on the Bright Side, at Least it’s Safe<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Too bad this sort of protection can’t save one’s dignity.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Dancing Roadside Condom Mascot.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  23. \n
    29<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    There’s a Museum For That?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Thank goodness he’s bathed in a warm cup of golden noodles and broth!<\/p>\n

    Job:\u00a0<\/span>Cup Noodle Shoveler.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n

  24. \n
    30<\/span><\/div>\n
    \n

    Hey Kids, I Said EAT Your Veggies!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \"\"<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
    \n

    Not BEAT your veggies.<\/p>\n

    Job:<\/span> Tortured Green Pepper Mascot.<\/p>\n

    \n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Yes, retail can be frustrating, heartless and sure as hell doesn’t pay well, but it’s definitely not the worst job in the world. Ranker.com came up with the top 30 (or, er, bottom 30) and here they are (in no particular order, if you ask me.) \u00a0 And whoever hired the guy for the Hello Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1529"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1529\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1531,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1529\/revisions\/1531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}