{"id":1274,"date":"2015-09-27T09:49:50","date_gmt":"2015-09-27T16:49:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1274"},"modified":"2015-09-27T09:49:50","modified_gmt":"2015-09-27T16:49:50","slug":"16-as-seen-on-tv-items-that-might-astound-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1274","title":{"rendered":"16 “As Seen On TV” Items That Might Astound You"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

\u00a0 In our stores we all have an “As Seen On TV” section, I don’t watch a great deal of TV so haven’t seen too many of these either on TV or in the store, but perhaps I’m not staying up late enough. \u00a0Because you’d have to be REALLY tired to buy any of these. \u00a0I do remember the Flowbee from my childhood though, so that’s been around for a while. \u00a0And the laptop to use while in the car? \u00a0I think a cop would get a special pleasure of pulling you over while doing that. \u00a0“Honest officer, I was just mapquesting my route!”<\/p>\n

Neckline Slimmer<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

For just two minutes a day, the neckline slimmer will transform that turkey neck of yours into a neck that will make people say in amazement, “Why are you doing that with your neck?”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
2<\/div>\n

The SlobStopper<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Have you ever seen a baby wearing a bib and thought, “Those were the days”? Well, pine no more. Now there’s the SlobStopper<\/a>, a\u00a0polyurethane bib for working adults who really want to make sure they’ve hit rock bottom.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
3<\/div>\n

Zoomies<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

The best way to creep on your neighbors in style.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
4<\/div>\n

Tiddy Bear<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

“Mom, Dad, please stop picking me up from school.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
5<\/div>\n

Flowbee<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Cut your own hair using a vacuum cleaner. It’s still better than getting haircuts at the barber college.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
6<\/div>\n

Potty Putter<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

He always said his game was in the toilet.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
7<\/div>\n

CitiKitty<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

It’s a great way to train your cat to use the toilet. It’s not so great when you forget to remove it before you use the bathroom.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
8<\/div>\n

Booty Pop<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

It works for men too, right? We’re asking for a friend.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
9<\/div>\n

Kush Support<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Again, we have to ask: It works for men too, right?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
10<\/div>\n

UroClub<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

We’re not sure why every golf-related product is tied to relieving oneself, but the EuroClub is a fake golf club into which players can urinate when acting civilized is too much of a burden. It’s easily the most efficient way to lose friends.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
11<\/div>\n

Cardio Jump<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

It’s a jump rope without the rope, and it costs more than a jump rope. Where can we buy all of them?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
12<\/div>\n

Better Marriage Blanket<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

That is the face of a woman who bought a flatulent-absorbing blanket that doesn’t work.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
13<\/div>\n

AutoExec Wheelmate<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

Because driving while on your phone isn’t challenging enough.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
14<\/div>\n

Snuggie For Dogs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

The expression on that dog’s face says it all.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
15<\/div>\n

Fridge Locker<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

You know America has an incarceration problem when we put our own food in jail.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
\n
\n
16<\/div>\n

Talking TP<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
\n
\n

It’s actually not the toilet paper that’s talking, but the toilet paper roll. Classic false advertising.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 In our stores we all have an “As Seen On TV” section, I don’t watch a great deal of TV so haven’t seen too many of these either on TV or in the store, but perhaps I’m not staying up late enough. \u00a0Because you’d have to be REALLY tired to buy any of these. Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1274","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1274"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1276,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1274\/revisions\/1276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}