{"id":989,"date":"2015-06-23T08:21:42","date_gmt":"2015-06-23T15:21:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=989"},"modified":"2015-06-23T08:21:42","modified_gmt":"2015-06-23T15:21:42","slug":"you-had-one-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=989","title":{"rendered":"You Had One Job…"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 More classic failures by people who only had one job to do and weren’t up to the task. \u00a0 I’ve actually gotten one of the backwards drumsticks on more than one occasion. \u00a0 Very messy. \u00a0And the waterslide? \u00a0 \u00a0Really?<\/article>\n
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Not Ice, Ice Baby<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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On a hot summer day, who doesn’t like to cool off with a cold, refreshing glass of popcorn water?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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A Strange Picnic<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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At a picnic, you usually want bug protection, not this kind of protection.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Gone to the Dogs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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You probably could<\/em>\u00a0put a hot dog in these buns\u00a0if you wanted to. Just like you could <\/em>put a salad or chicken lo mein or an ice cream sundae in these buns. But that’s not their main purpose.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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A Strikeout<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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Even if this bag did contain the correct items, baseballs aren’t exactly known for their bouncing abilities.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Panda Bar<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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They had to make this an imitation panda ice cream bar, because real panda ice cream bars are endangered.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Wishing for Watermelon<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Some people like their watermelon seedless. But you should make sure that it’s also kernel-less.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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A Little Short<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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As TLC once sang, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls…and also don’t go riding down waterslides that send you into the concrete right in front the pool…”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Going for a Dip<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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This chocolate-dipped drumstick could be worse. It could have been a chicken drumstick.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Fruit With No Name<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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These curved, yellow fruits are tasty when covered in frozen, dairy dessert and warm, chocolate-flavored liquid.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Not-So-Neapolitan<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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It has 50% of the fat, and 0% of the strawberry.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Which One’s Pink?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Why is this brand called Old Orchard? Apparently it’s because the orchard is so old that it forgot the difference between pink and yellow.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Explosion of Fail<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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However, cats may purchase as many explosives as they want.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Winter Beachwear<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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If this is proper winter attire, then\u00a0the characters on Game of Thrones<\/em>better stock up!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 More classic failures by people who only had one job to do and weren’t up to the task. \u00a0 I’ve actually gotten one of the backwards drumsticks on more than one occasion. \u00a0 Very messy. \u00a0And the waterslide? \u00a0 \u00a0Really? Not Ice, Ice Baby On a hot summer day, who doesn’t like to cool Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=989"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":994,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/989\/revisions\/994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}