{"id":1813,"date":"2016-03-27T09:09:42","date_gmt":"2016-03-27T16:09:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1813"},"modified":"2016-03-27T09:09:42","modified_gmt":"2016-03-27T16:09:42","slug":"things-every-kid-wanted-in-their-easter-baskets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1813","title":{"rendered":"Things Every Kid Wanted in Their Easter Baskets"},"content":{"rendered":"
\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0If you haven’t already put together your Easter basket, here are the basics to make sure your kids are happy. \u00a0On the other hand, if you waited until now (It’s already Easter, you nitwit!) \u00a0you’re probably going to have a hard time finding all of these things, especially the Cadbury Eggs which tend to sell out fast. \u00a0 \u00a0I have to admit though, after 40+ years of merchandising Easter candy, I have NEVER heard of a Smarties Butterfly, in fact I don’t think we even had Easter Smarties. \u00a0 Is that a regional thing? \u00a0 \u00a0My Easter is complete, I purchased and ate my annual package of Peeps. \u00a0Each year I feel more and like I’m going to have a blood sugar crash 20 minutes later and end up in the hospital, but it hasn’t happened yet. \u00a0Happy Easter!<\/article>\n
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Easter Grass<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Let’s start with the basics: Your Easter basket wasn’t worth its weight in licorice unless it came filled with that weird colored “grass,” ideally purchased from the Dollar Store. The more harmful to the environment, the better.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Foil Chocolate Eggs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Now that you have that grassy foundation, you need to add some eggs. Sure, these are just basic milk chocolate candies, but wrap them in some colorful foil, and they suddenly become special. Never mind that they’re probably repurposed, unsold candy footballs from the Super Bowl.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Now we’re talking. The Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg has been scientifically proven<\/a> to have among the best peanut butter-to-chocolate ratios of all the Reese’s candies. If you didn’t get at least one of these in your basket, your parents didn’t love you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Robin Eggs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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This might be a point of contention, because not every kid possesses the sophisticated palette to appreciate the taste of Whoppers. But if you were a malted milk ball fan, then there’s nothing like getting a fresh batch of these in your basket. And if they aren’t your thing… I’ll trade you all my black jelly beans for a carton of Robin Eggs.<\/p>\n

(…Heh. Sucker.)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Easter M&M’s<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Yes, I know they taste exactly the same as the regular M&M’s and yes, I know they’re twice as expensive…but look at the colors!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Some Variety of Chocolate on a Stick<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Why is Easter seemingly the No. 1 holiday for intricately-molded chocolates on a stick? They always taste kind of stale, and the second you bite into one it crumbles off the stick. Still, though, you’d better believe there will be at least one of these poking out of your basket on Easter morning.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Smarties Butterfly<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Some people think the homemade paper butterfly wings for Smarties rolls is a Valentine’s day treat. To them I say: Do you see many butterflies in February? No. Butterflies equal spring. Spring equals Easter. End of story.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Cadbury Mini Eggs!!<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Now we’re getting into the really good stuff. Why every other chocolate doesn’t have a thick outer shell like these babies, I’ll never know. If only Cadbury sold them year-round.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Cadbury Creme Eggs<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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And as long as we’re on the topic of Cadbury, we’ve gotta talk about the Creme Eggs. As a kid, if there weren’t at least five of these in your basket, I believe you were legally entitled to flip the table. It’s just a shame that Cadbury keeps insisting on shrinking the things <\/a>every year.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Marshmallow Peeps<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Enjoy them while they’re fresh, kids, because approximately two minutes after opening, these chicks become stale and inedible. No trouble, though. That just means you’ll have to eat the entire sleeve right now. Easy peasy.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Plastic Egg Filled With Jelly Beans<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Now we’re into the classic Easter basket item. And as long as the jelly beans are Starburst or Jolly Rancher brand, you’re fine. And if they’re Brach’s? Well, there’s always next year…<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Scratch That. Plastic Eggs Filled With Money<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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You know what? Forget everything we just said. Who cares about a half-handful of old jelly beans? What you want is cold hard cash. Coins are OK, but bills are better. C’mon, Mom and Dad. Don’t cheap out on us.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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SOLID Chocolate Bunny<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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There’s nothing more disappointing than biting into a giant chocolate bunny only to find out that, much like my first marriage, it’s completely hollow. Go solid chocolate or go home.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Easter Sweet Tarts<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Every year, Sweet Tarts releases a special Easter edition of their candies shaped like chicks and bunnies, and every year it makes us say, “Oooh yeah. Those exist.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Stragglers on the Bottom<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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And lastly, the most amazing Easter miracle of all: the spare candy that got shuffled to the bottom. Finding these when you think you’re all out of treats is like a second Easter morning all over again, only this time you don’t<\/em> have to dress in khaki pants and sit through church.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0If you haven’t already put together your Easter basket, here are the basics to make sure your kids are happy. \u00a0On the other hand, if you waited until now (It’s already Easter, you nitwit!) \u00a0you’re probably going to have a hard time finding all of these things, especially the Cadbury Eggs which Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1813","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1813"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1819,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1813\/revisions\/1819"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1813"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1813"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1813"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}