{"id":1476,"date":"2015-12-31T07:09:54","date_gmt":"2015-12-31T15:09:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1476"},"modified":"2015-12-31T07:09:54","modified_gmt":"2015-12-31T15:09:54","slug":"another-walmart-vagina-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1476","title":{"rendered":"Another Walmart Vagina Story"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/now8news.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/walmart-cookies.jpg\" alt=\"walmart cookies\" width=\"344\" height=\"193\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Sadly, this year my most popular post was <a href=\"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=797\" target=\"_blank\">a story about a woman shoplifting multiple items in her vagina<\/a>. \u00a0 So to cap off the year, here&#8217;s yet another one, this time reportedly about a woman discovering that cookie dough explodes at an internal body temperature of 98 degrees. \u00a0Unfortunately, in both cases, fiction was stranger than truth, as they were both bogus stories, the first from Empire News and this one from another satire news site called <a href=\"http:\/\/now8news.com\" target=\"_blank\">now8news.<\/a>\u00a0 \u00a0Apparently the latter site has a fascination with Walmart, because they have 2 other stories entitled &#8220;Crazed Man Performs Satanic Sacrifice Ritual With Cat Inside Tennessee Walmart&#8221; and one that claims &#8220;Woman Arrested At Walmart For Practicing Her \u201cOral Skills\u201d On A Package Of Hot Links.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I guess when you&#8217;re the #1 retailer in the world, you&#8217;re going to be the butt of some jokes. \u00a0Or the vagina of some jokes. \u00a0 My New Years resolution for 2016 is I promise not to publish any more Walmart vagina stories. \u00a0(Unless they&#8217;re for real.) \u00a0Happy New Year.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8KOVxSxTJu\"><p><a href=\"http:\/\/now8news.com\/cookie-dough-can-explodes-in-womans-vagina-during-shoplifting-incident\/\">Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman&#8217;s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" style=\"position: absolute; visibility: hidden;\" title=\"&#8220;Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman&#8217;s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident&#8221; &#8212; Now8News\" src=\"http:\/\/now8news.com\/cookie-dough-can-explodes-in-womans-vagina-during-shoplifting-incident\/embed\/#?secret=jDCcpMi0wD#?secret=8KOVxSxTJu\" data-secret=\"8KOVxSxTJu\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sadly, this year my most popular post was a story about a woman shoplifting multiple items in her vagina. \u00a0 So to cap off the year, here&#8217;s yet another one, this time reportedly about a woman discovering that cookie dough explodes at an internal body temperature of 98 degrees. \u00a0Unfortunately, in both cases, fiction was <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1476\">Read More&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1476","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1476"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1528,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1476\/revisions\/1528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1476"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1476"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1476"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}