{"id":1373,"date":"2015-11-11T09:28:41","date_gmt":"2015-11-11T17:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1373"},"modified":"2015-11-11T09:28:41","modified_gmt":"2015-11-11T17:28:41","slug":"20-classic-retail-fails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/?p=1373","title":{"rendered":"20 Classic Retail Fails"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\u00a0 These are from guff.com and are all pretty good. \u00a0I don’t know about you, but I have to find a banana with a bone in it. \u00a0And as for #7, I’ll bet good money that there is an actual porno with that title somewhere.<\/p>\n

Orange You Glad?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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You know that old saying: When life gives you lemons, make orange juice. With the lemons. Somehow. You’ll figure it out. Just be creative.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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2<\/div>\n

33% Off<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Large? Check.<\/p>\n

Vase? Check.<\/p>\n

Green? Hey, two out of three ain’t bad.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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3<\/div>\n

So Inspirtional!<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Oh, thank goodness! The last plague I got was a total downer.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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4<\/div>\n

#1 Mom<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Honestly, though, your dad would probably prefer this to another one of those awful ties.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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5<\/div>\n

Ties?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Especially if the awful ties you’re giving him are actually belts. Seriously, get it together, kid.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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6<\/div>\n

Animal Peeler<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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There be more than one way to skin a cat, but there’s only one correct<\/em> way.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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7<\/div>\n

Little WHAT?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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In season five, Laura Ingalls gets even\u00a0wilder<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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8<\/div>\n

Apples?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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How do you like them apples?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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9<\/div>\n

Strawberries?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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And while we’re at it, how do you like them strawberries? Also, why do you insist on doing all of your shopping at this weird mislabeled produce store?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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10<\/div>\n

Blowout!<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Well, “special” is one word for it….<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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11<\/div>\n

Floating Fail<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Alright, so it doesn’t float on water, but think about how impressed all of your friends will be when you show them your pet phone!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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12<\/div>\n

Sale Fail<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Excuse me, WalMart? I’m not sure you know how “Clearance” works.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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13<\/div>\n

It’s the Dress All Over Again<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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Ha! They labeled these “Black and White Cookies” when they’re CLEARLY gold and white! What a fail.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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14<\/div>\n

Long Yellow Things<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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I mean, they’re not wrong….<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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15<\/div>\n

Curved Yellow Fruit<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Okay, getting closer. Surely someone will crack the code soon!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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16<\/div>\n

Boneless Bananas<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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That’s it. I give up.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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17<\/div>\n

Ready Payer One<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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If you can figure out how much you’re supposed to pay for it, the rest of the game is an absolute breeze.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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18<\/div>\n

0% Off<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Say what you will, but personally, I like knowing exactly what to expect.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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19<\/div>\n

Use This Pre-Built Case<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
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To be fair, why are they shipping product in pre-built display boxes? And then putting quotation marks around “on shelf!”? Dollar Tree was destined to fail.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

source <\/i><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n
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20<\/div>\n

Cool Dustpans<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/div>\n
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Well, of course. What else are Olympic curlers supposed to use with their ice brooms?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 These are from guff.com and are all pretty good. \u00a0I don’t know about you, but I have to find a banana with a bone in it. \u00a0And as for #7, I’ll bet good money that there is an actual porno with that title somewhere. Orange You Glad? You know that old saying: When life Read More…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-retail-humor"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1373"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1374,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1373\/revisions\/1374"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/re-tales.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}